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Ask A Sheikh

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ASK A SHEIKH

“Ask a Sheikh” aims to offer advice and academic answers based on evidence from religious texts in an adequate and easy-to-understand manner. It strives to ensure that the answers are based on evidence from the Holy Qur’an, the soundly-narrated (Saheeh) Prophetic Sunnah, writings from the four Madhhabs, Islamic fiqh councils and seekers of knowledge who conduct research in various Islamic specialties
These answers are supervised by Shaykh Muhammad Saalih al-Munajjid (may Allah preserve him)
Does a woman have to undo her hair when doing ghusl in the case of janaabah (impurity following sexual activity)?

Question: I have a very long hair up to my ankles..and every time after sex. Intercourse I have to take a full bath shall. I do that every time for my hair… cause I find difficulty in doing that specially on alternative days?.

Answers
Similar Answers
Praise be to Allaah.
A woman does not have to undo her hair when she does ghusl following janaabah, but she must make sure that the water reaches all parts of her body, including the hair and its roots.

Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked:

Some women braid their hair and when they do ghusl following janaabah they do not undo their braids. Is their ghusl valid? Please note that the water does not reach all the roots of their hair. Please advise us, may Allaah reward you with good.

He replied:

If a woman pours water over her head, that is sufficient, because Umm Salamah (may Allaah be pleased with her) asked the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) about that. She said: I am a woman with braided hair; should I undo it when doing ghusl for janaabah? He said: “No, rather it will be sufficient for you to pour three handfuls of water on your head, then pour water over yourself and you will be purified.” Narrated by Imam Muslim in his Saheeh.

So if a woman pours water on her head three times, that will be sufficient and she does not need to undo the braids, because of this saheeh hadeeth.

Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn Baaz, 10/182

Shaykh Ibn Baaz also said:

With regard to the greater purification (i.e., ghusl), it is essential to pour water over the head three times, and wiping is not sufficient, because of the report narrated in Saheeh Muslim… then he mentioned the hadeeth of Umm Salamah which is quoted above.

Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn Baaz, 10/161. Ibn al-Qayyim said in Tahdheeb al-Sunan: This hadeeth of Umm Salamah indicates that women do not have to undo their hair in order to do ghusl following janaabah. The scholars were agreed on this point, except for the reports narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr and Ibraaheem al-Nakha’i who said that she has to undo it, but we do not know of anyone else who agrees with them. End quote.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said: The least that is required is that she should make the water reach every part of her body, even underneath the hair. It is best if it is done in the manner described in the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), when Asma’ bint Shakl asked him about ghusl following menses. He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “One of you should take her water and lotus leaves and purify herself and purify herself well. Then she should pour water over her head and rub it vigorously, so that it reaches the roots of her hair, and pour water over herself. Then she should take a piece of cloth that is scented with musk and purify herself with it.” Asma’ said: “How should she purify herself with it?” He said: ‘Subhaan Allaah, let her purify herself with it.” ‘Aa’ishah said to her: “She should follow the traces of blood.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim. It is not necessary to undo the braids unless they are so tightly done that there is the fear that the water will not reach the roots of the hair, because of the hadeeth of Umm Salamah (may Allaah be pleased with her) which is narrated in Saheeh Muslim… Then he mentioned the hadeeth which we have quoted above.

Majmoo’ Fataawa Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 11/318, 319

And Allaah knows best.
Does anal intercourse cancel the marriage contract?

Question: I just want to know if a husband and wife have anal sex does their Nikah break? Do you have to marry again?

Answer
Praise be to Allaah.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (Have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will, and send (good deeds, or ask Allaah to bestow upon you pious offspring) for your ownselves beforehand. And fear Allaah, and know that you are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give good tidings to the believers (O Muhammad).” [al-Baqarah 2:223]

From the word harth (tilth) we understand that what is permissible is only in the vagina (the front passage), especially because this is what will produce children. The semen that is planted in the womb from which offspring come is likened to the seeds which are planted in the ground, from which vegetation comes, as both of them are substances from which something else is produced.

The phrase translated as when or how you will means, in any manner you wish, from behind or from the front, sitting or with the wife lying on her back or on her side, so long as it is in the place of tilth (i.e., the vagina, the place from which a baby is born).

The poet said:

The wombs are lands for us to till; we have to plant the seeds and whatever grows is up to Allaah.

It was reported from Khuzaymah ibn Thaabit (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah is not too shy to tell you the truth: do not have intercourse with your wives in the anus.”

(Narrated by Imaam Ahmad, 5/213; a hasan hadeeth).

Ibn ‘Abbaas said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah will not look at a man who has intercourse with his wife in her anus.”

(Narrated by Ibn Abi Shaybah, 3/529; narrated and classed as saheeh by al-Tirmidhi, 1165).

See Nayl al-Maraam by Siddeeq Hasan Khaan, 1/151-154.

If a man does this, his wife is not considered to be divorced as many people think, because there is no shar’i evidence at all that indicates this. But the scholars said that if a man habitually does this, his wife has the right to ask for a divorce, because he is an evildoer (faasiq) who is causing harm by his action, and also because the purpose of marriage cannot be achieved through this action. The wife has to resist this evil action and remind her husband about Allaah and about the punishment for transgressing the limits set by Allaah. If the husband repents to Allaah from this deed, there is no reason why she should not stay with him, and there is no need to renew the marriage contract. And Allaah is the Source of strength.
He engaged in foreplay with his wife until he ejaculated

Question :I engaged in foreplay with my wife during the day in Ramadaan – when we were both fasting – until I ejaculated semen. Allaah knows best whether she also reached climax or not. But I feel very guilty and my heart is filled with pain because I feel that we have committed a great sin. Is there really any burden of sin on us? If so, what is the kafaarah (expiation)?.

Answer
Praise be to Allaah.
You committed a sin by engaging in foreplay with your wife until you ejaculated, because by doing so you invalidated your fast and violated the sanctity of this blessed month, and you missed out on the reward of fasting, concerning which Allaah says: “He gives up his desire and his food for My sake.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1761).

Your regret for the action that you did is repentance. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Regret is repentance.” Narrated by Ahmad, 3558; Ibn Maajah, 4252; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah, 3429.

By ejaculating you broke your fast on the day when that happened, but you should refrain from eating and drinking for the rest of the day, until sunset. And you have to fast another day to make up for that day.

With regard to the kafaarah (expiation), if you had had intercourse with your wife, the expiation would have been severe, namely freeing a slave; if you could not do that then you would have to fast for two consecutive months; and if you could not do that then you would have to feed sixty poor persons.

But if you ejaculated without having intercourse then you do not have to offer expiation, rather you only have to make up that day.

Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “If he kisses his wife or has intimacy without penetration, or touches the hand of a woman with his hand etc, then he ejaculates, he has broken his fast. Otherwise (his fast is not broken).”

Al-Majmoo’, 6/322

Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

If (a man) touches his wife, whether he touches her with his hand, or with his face by kissing her, or with his private part (without having intercourse), then if he ejaculates he has broken his fast, but if he does not ejaculate then he does not break his fast thereby.

Al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 6/388

This ruling applies both to you and to your wife. If she reached climax as a result of this foreplay then she also broke her fast, and she has to repent to Allaah and make up this fast on another day. If she did not reach climax then she does not have to do anything.

And Allaah knows best.
He had intercourse with his wife without ejaculating during the day in Ramadan, because he was unaware that this is Haram, and he did not have a bath afterwards

Question: I got married nine years ago. During the first year of marriage I used to engage in foreplay with my wife during the day in Ramadaan and I used to have intercourse without ejaculating. I was unaware that that is haraam, because I thought that if I did not ejaculate, it did not break the fast. After the first year, I did not do that again. That was so that I could avoid doubtful things. Since I got married until now, I have repeated what I did during the first year of engaging in foreplay with my wife, but that was during the night in Ramadaan and during the night and day at other times of the year, when I had intercourse without ejaculating, and I did not do ghusl because I thought that if I did not ejaculate, I did not need to do ghusl. I hope that you will answer, noting that what happened was the result of ignorance on my part, and that you will tell me what my wife and I should do.

Answer
Praise be to Allaah.
This question includes two issues:
1 – Intercourse on the part of one who is fasting
2 – Rulings on one who has intercourse but does not do ghusl

Firstly:

If a person who is fasting has intercourse with his wife during the day in Ramadaan, one of the following two scenarios must apply:

The first scenario: he thinks that having intercourse without ejaculating is not haraam during the day in Ramadaan, so he has intercourse and he is ignorant or unaware of the ruling.

The second scenario: he knows that having intercourse (during the day in Ramadaan) is haraam but he does not know what the punishment is.

With regard to the first scenario, Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

The most correct view is the view of those who say that whoever does one of the things that break the fast or one of the things that are forbidden during ihraam or one of the things that invalidate the prayer and is unaware of it, then there is no sin on him, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Our Lord! Punish us not if we forget or fall into error”

[al-Baqarah 2:286]

and Allaah has said: “I have done that.”

So if this man who had intercourse with his wife during the day in Ramadaan was unaware of the ruling, and he thought that the kind of intercourse that is haraam is the kind in which ejaculation occurs, then he does not have to do anything.

But in the second scenario, if he knew that intercourse (during the day in Ramadaan) is haraam, but he did not know that there is expiation (kafaarah) for that, then he has to offer the expiation, because there is a difference between ignorance of the ruling and ignorance of the punishment. Ignorance of the punishment is no excuse, but ignorance of the ruling is an excuse.

Hence the scholars said: If a person drinks an intoxicant thinking that it will not cause intoxication, or thinking that it is not haraam, then there is no sin on him. But if he knows that it will cause intoxication and that it is haraam, but he does not know that he is to be punished for that, then he should be punished and he is not excused from that. Based on this, we say to the questioner that so long as you did not know that intercourse without ejaculation was haraam, there is no sin on you or on your wife, if she was also ignorant of the ruling as you were.

Secondly:

The effect of this action on fasting and prayer.

With regard to fasting, janaabah (being in a state of impurity following sexual activity) does not have any effect on it, because the fasting of a person who is in a state of janaabah is valid. But not doing ghusl in order to pray poses a problem, because prayer is not valid without doing ghusl because the person remains in a state of janaabah. Most of the scholars are of the view that this person must make up all the prayers for which he did not do ghusl, but is it known that this man will have had intercourse and ejaculated, and then done ghusl.

But he may not know how often he did that. So we say to him that he should try to work it out and do his best to make up the prayers, to be on the safe side. But if you did not know anything about this and it did not cross your mind that simply having intercourse without ejaculating would mean that ghusl was essential, then we hope that you do not have to do anything, i.e., that you do not have to make up the prayers. But you do have to repent and seek forgiveness for your negligence in not asking about the matter.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, al-Liqa’ al-Shahri
Her husband has forsaken her in bed for a year and a half

Question: There is a woman who is complaining about her husband falling short with her, and she says that he has not had sex with her for one year and six months, and that he does not give her her right to intimacy. This is despite the fact that if he called her, she would not refuse, but he is the one who does not call her to that. What is the ruling on that? What should she do? Is it permissible for her to ask for divorce, because he refuses to be intimate with her and says that she is forsaking him, but that is not the case?

Answer
Praise be to Allah.

Firstly:
Both spouses should be keen to fulfil rights and duties, treat one another kindly, be gracious to one another, and strive to solve any problems they may face, in an atmosphere of love and mutual understanding, acting in accordance with the words of Allah (interpretation of the meaning):

“And live with them honourably”

[an-Nisa’ 4:19]

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise”

[al-Baqarah 2:228].

Secondly:
It is not permissible for the husband to forsake his wife in bed for this length of time, unless she is defiantly disobedient towards him and does not fulfil his rights that it is obligatory for her to fulfil. In that case it is permissible for him to forsake her until she repents, because Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

“As to those women on whose part you see ill conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great”

[an-Nisa’ 4:34].

But if there is no defiant disobedience or ill conduct, it is not permissible to shun them or refuse to share their beds in this manner, for two reasons:

1.It is obligatory for the husband to keep his wife chaste and to have sex with her according to her needs and his ability.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked about a man who is able to stay away from his wife for one or two months, and does not have intercourse with her: is there any sin on him or not? Is the husband required to do that?

He replied:

It is obligatory for the man to have intercourse with his wife on a reasonable basis, and this is one of the most important rights that she has over him; it is more important than feeding her. With regard to obligatory intercourse, according to one view, it is obligatory (at least) once every four months; according to another view, it should be according to her need and his ability, just as he should feed her according to her need and his ability. The latter is the more correct of the two opinions.

End quote from Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa (32/271).

2.The one who refuses to have intercourse with his wife – if she is not defiantly disobedient – for four months comes under the same ruling as one who swore an oath (called eela’) not to have sexual relations with his wife (see al-Baqarah 2:226); he should be instructed (by the qaadi or judge) either to have intercourse with her or to divorce her, and if he refuses to divorce her, then the qaadi may issue a ruling of divorce.

The scholars of the Standing Committee said: If a man shuns his wife for more than three months, if that is because of defiant disobedience on her part, i.e., the wife is disobeying her husband with regard to marital rights that are obligatory upon her, and she has persisted in that after he has admonished her and reminded her to fear Allah, may He be exalted, and he has reminded her of her obligatory duties towards her husband, then he may forsake her in bed for as long as he wants, so as to discipline her until she willingly fulfils her husband’s rights. But with regard to the husband forsaking his wife in bed for more than four months, so as to cause her harm without any shortcoming on her part with regard to her husband’s rights, then in this case he is like one who swore an oath (called eela’) not to have sexual relations with his wife (see al-Baqarah 2:226), even if he did not actually swear an oath to that effect. He is to be given a deadline equal to the time of eela’ (which is four months), then when four months have passed, if he does not come back to his wife and have intercourse with her in the vagina, when he is able to do so, if she is not menstruating or bleeding following childbirth, then he is to be ordered to issue a divorce. If he refuses to go back to his wife and he refuses to issue a divorce, then the qaadi may issue a ruling of divorce or annul the marriage, if the wife requests that.

End quote from Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa’imah no. 20443.

Thirdly:
Our advice to you is to think about the reason why he has kept away from you. Perhaps you have fallen short in adorning yourself for him, or perhaps he is suffering from some sickness or problem that needs someone to help him to treat it.

Sit down with him and have a calm discussion, without apportioning blame, about the causes of this problem. If that does not help, then bring in a wise and rational person from your family or his, who can help solve the problem. If none of these approaches work, then in that case there is nothing wrong with taking the matter to the qaadi and requesting a divorce so as to ward off the harm that is affecting you.

If you choose to be patient in the hope that Allah, may He be exalted, will guide your husband and put an end to his mistreatment, then there is nothing wrong with doing that, in sha Allah, on condition that that will not cause you hardship or expose you to temptation because of his shunning you.

We ask Allah to bring you together in a good way.

And Allah knows best.
If a female has an orgasm without intercourse

Question: If a female has an orgasm without intercourse, is she required to perform ghusl before she can say her prayers?

Answer

Praise be to Allaah.

If maniy (fluid emitted at the point of climax) comes out of a woman without intercourse, she has to do ghusl. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded women to do ghusl if they notice water (fluid), as was reported by Maalik in al-Muwatta’ (1/51), and by al-Bukhaari (282) and al-Nasaa’i (1/114) from Umm Salamah (may Allaah be pleased with her) who said: Umm Sulaim, the wife of Abu Talhah, came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, Allaah is not too shy to tell the truth. Does a woman have to do ghusl if she has an (erotic) dream?” He said, “Yes, if she sees water (fluid).” In this hadeeth, he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded women to do ghusl if they see water, i.e., maniy.

Al-Baghawi said in Sharh al-Sunnah (2/9): Ghusl for janaabah (impurity following sexual activity) is waajib (obligatory) if either of the following applies: either the tip of the penis penetrates the vagina, or the gushing liquid is emitted by the man or the woman… The scholars said that ghusl does not become obligatory unless one is sure that what one feels of wetness comes from the gushing liquid.

Ibn Qudaamah said in al-Mughni (1/200): The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) connected doing ghusl to seeing (the fluid) when he said: “If you see the water and if the water gushed out , then do ghusl.” The ruling does not apply otherwise.

Ibn Hajar said in al-Fath (1/389): This indicates that ghusl is obligatory for women, if they emit fluid at the point of climax.

Ibn Rajab said in al-Fath (1/338): This hadeeth indicates that if a woman sees an (erotic) dream and notices the fluid when she wakes up, she has to do ghusl. This was the view of the majority of scholars and no dissenting view is known except for that of al-Nakha’i, who is the odd one out.

This hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) makes the matter quite clear, which is that if any fluid is emitted by the woman – whether it is a little or a lot – then she has to do ghusl.

On the basis of the above, if a woman feels that some fluid has come out of her vagina, even if it is only a little, then she has to do ghusl, because of the report to that effect. It is not sufficient for her to do wudoo’ in this case unless the fluid which was emitted was not the kind of fluid for which ghusl is required, such as madhiy (lubricating secretion) etc., in which case wudoo’ is sufficient. And Allaah knows best.
If a man wakes up and finds some wetness but does not know what it is

Question I sometimes wake up and find wetness which I cannot differentiate from semen or something else. Should I in this case make ghusl? Please tell us if u have advice for Muslims living in the west regarding prayers and its timings, issues of purification ‘tahara’, the matter of shaking hands and other related issues that are important for a Muslim man to observe. Please help us may Allah reward you and guide you to the best for Muslims.

Answer
Praise be to Allaah.
If a man wakes up and finds some wetness, one of three scenarios must apply:

1 – He knows that it is maniy (semen), by knowing the characteristics of maniy. The fuqaha’ have stated that the smell of wet maniy is like the smell of dough or the spadix of the palm tree, and the smell of dried maniy is like the smell of egg whites. In that case ghusl is required, but it is not essential to wash one’s garment because maniy is taahir (pure) according to the more correct of the two scholarly opinions.

2 – He knows that it is madhiy (prostatic fluid), which case ghusl is not required, but he must wash off whatever has got onto his body and clothes, because madhiy is najis (impure).

3 – He does not know whether it is maniy or madhiy. That is subject to further discussion.

If his sleep was preceded by something that caused the provocation of desire, such as thinking or looking, then the wetness that he found on his garment comes under the ruling on madhiy.

If his sleep was not preceded by something that would cause emission of madhiy, then he should do that which is most on the safe side, and follow the rulings on both maniy and madhiy; so he should do ghusl and wash off whatever has got onto his clothes, and he should do wudoo’ during his ghusl.

It says in Mataalib Ooli al-Nuha (1/162): If the sleeper wakes up and finds wetness on his body or garment or bed, if he is certain that it is maniy he should do ghusl because it is obligatory, even if he does not remember having a wet dream. Al-Muwaffaq said: We do not know of any difference of opinion concerning that. But he need not wash off whatever it got onto, because maniy is taahir.

Maniy may be recognized by its smell, which is like the smell of dough or the smell of the spadix of a palm tree when it is fresh, or the smell of egg whites when they are dry. If he is certain that it is not maniy, he should purify whatever it got onto of his body or clothes, because it is najis.

If he is confused about this wetness and does not know whether it is maniy or madhiy, if his sleep was preceded by some cause such as cold, looking or thinking or foreplay or an erection, he should purify whatever it has got onto, because it is more likely to be madhiy due to the causes; what we think is likely should be taken as a certainty in this case, such as if he saw a dream in his sleep then he must do ghusl, because it is more likely that it was maniy because of the reason.

But if his sleep was preceded by a cause, and he found some wetness on his clothes or body or bed, he should do ghusl because it is obligatory and he should do wudoo’ in the right order and also purify whatever it has got onto. It says in Sharh al-Iqnaa’: To be on the safe side. Then he said: This is not obligatory on the basis of doubt, rather it is on the basis of taking precautions, because in the case mentioned above, it is either maniy or madhiy and there is no reason to regard one as more likely than the other, therefore to be on the safe side what may be obligatory should be done and that cannot be done except in the way mentioned. End quote.

We ask Allaah to help and guide us and you.

And Allaah knows best.
If he has intercourse with his wife, do his clothes become naajis

Question: I copulate my wife sometimes while I am fully dressed, due to family circumstances. My question is: does all my cloth become najisah, or only what touched my semen of it? Please do not ignore my question as I need the answer a lot.

Answer
Praise be to Allaah.
Many scholars are of the view that semen is pure (taahir), whether it is emitted as the result of a wet dream or intercourse. This is based on a great deal of evidence, including that which was narrated by Muslim in his Saheeh (288) from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) who said: I remember scratching it [semen] from the garment of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), then he prayed in it.

Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Sharh Muslim (3/198): Many are of the view that semen is taahir (pure).

This was narrated from ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib, Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqaas, Ibn ‘Umar, ‘Aa’ishah, Dawood and Ahmad according to one of the two reports. It is also the view of al-Shaafa’i and ashaab al-hadeeth. End quote. See Fath al-Baari (2/332).

It says in Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah (5/381): The emission of semen as the result of a wet dream and the like does not make naajis the clothes worn by the one who has the dream, even if it gets on them, because semen is taahir. But it is prescribed to remove that which gets onto one’s clothes as a matter of cleanliness and removing dirt. End quote.

As for madhiy (prostatic fluid), which is what is emitted during foreplay or when thinking about intercourse, it is naajis, but sprinkling water on it is sufficient to purify it, because of the report narrated by Abu Dawood in his Sunan (210) and by al-Tirmidhi (115) and Ibn Majaah (506) from Sahl ibn Hunayf who said: I used to suffer from a great deal of madhiy, and I took many baths because of that. I asked the Messenger of Allaah (S) about that, and he said, “Wudoo’ is sufficient for you in this case.” I said, O Messenger of Allaah, what about the madhiy that gets onto my clothes? He said, “It is sufficient for you to pour a handful of water on the part of your clothes where you see the madhiy has gotten onto them.”

Based on this, intercourse and emission of semen does not mean that the clothes or body become naajis. As for madhiy, it is naajis but sharee’ah makes it easy to purify it, since sprinkling it with water is sufficient and it does not have to be washed.

The place that should be sprinkled with water is only the place where the madhiy got onto. As for the rest of the garment that was not touched by anything, it is taahir. And Allaah knows best.
Inserting fingers into the back passage

Question Is it permissible for a man to engage in foreplay with his wife by inserting his fingers into her back passage?

Answer
Praise be to Allaah.

It is permissible for each spouse to enjoy the entire body of the other, looking and touching, even the private part. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“They are Libaas [i.e. body-cover, or screen, or Sakan (i.e. you enjoy the pleasure of living with them)] for you and you are the same for them”

[al-Baqarah 2:187]

With regard to the husband engaging in foreplay with his wife in this manner, this may mean one of two things:

Either touching the anal sphincter, or by inserting his finger into the anus.

With regard to simply touching the anal sphincter, there is nothing wrong with that, but it is better to avoid doing that because that may lead to something else.

With regard to inserting the finger into the anus, this should not be done, for several reasons:

1 – The anus is the site of uncleanliness (najaasah) and faeces.

2 – One of the reasons why anal intercourse is forbidden is so that the penis will not come into contact with unclean faecal matter; by the same token inserting the finger into the anus will make it come into unnecessary direct contact with unclean faecal matter.

3 – This action is something that is abhorrent to the sound fitrah (innate nature of man) and offends good taste. Rather it is blind imitation of those whose fitrah is corrupt and whose tastes are nasty, who do everything that they think of to satisfy their animalistic desires with no care for good manners, morals or cleanliness, and their desires make them see something foul as something good.

4 – Persisting in doing that may lead a person to do that which is worse than that, namely anal intercourse. This is the habit of those who follow their desires and do whatever appeals to them, so they gradually fall into more serious things because of the less serious things that they are attracted to. Thus they move step by step until they end up committing “lesser sodomy” (intercourse with a woman n her back passage). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) described that by means of a brilliant analogy when he said: “What is permissible is clear and what is forbidden is clear, and between them are dubious matters of which many people are not aware. Whoever is cautious in the dubious matters will save his religious commitment and his honour, but whoever falls into dubious matters will fall into haraam, like a shepherd who grazes his flocks around a private pasture and is liable to enter it at any moment. Every king has a sanctuary, and the sanctuary of Allaah is the things that He has forbidden. In the body there is a piece of flesh which, if it is sound, the entire body will be sound, and if it is corrupt, the entire body will be corrupt. It is the heart.” Muslim, 4049.

5 – What Allaah has prescribed in the relationship between husband and wife is sufficient and there is no need for anything else. Allaah has not forbidden anything except that which is harmful.

The questioner should realize that in His complete wisdom, when Allaah forbids something (in this case, intercourse in the back passage), He also forbids the things that lead to it, because when a person does the things that lead to a haraam action, his heart becomes attached to it and finds himself torn between either doing the evil action or keeping away from it, and suffering because of that. So he does not keep away from haraam in such a way that he has peace of mind, nor does he fall into it and fulfil the desires of his evil nafs. Usually in such cases a person ends up doing what he thought that he would never do of major sins that doom a person to Hell and ruin all his affairs, both religious and worldly, and ruin his life and take away all blessings (barakah) from his wealth and children, as a result of his moving far away from his Lord and transgressing His sacred limits and not caring about the fact that Allaah is watching him in all his affairs. The wise man is the one who does not take lightly those things that lead to disaster in his religious commitment which is the capital of his wealth and comes before his worldly interests.

The Muslim should understand the true nature of things and what they lead to. He should not be affected by what the Shaytaan makes attractive to him or think of evil actions as insignificant, lest that cause him to become one of the losers. He has to fear Allaah his Lord in secret and in public, and remember that Allaah can see him and knows his intentions and what he does, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Allaah knows the fraud of the eyes, and all that the breasts conceal”
[Ghaafir 40:19]

He should remember that what is with Allaah is better and more lasting, and that the Hereafter and the delights that it contains is better for him than this world, and that the reward for being patient in refraining from evil actions is Paradise as wide as the heavens and the earth, in which is whatever the heart could desire of perfect pleasures that are free of all evils.
There is nothing in Islam to say that anal intercourse is permissible?

Question: Please help me for fining the truth. In Bukhari Sharif hadeeth no-4170 & 4171,said that anal sex is Halal/Jayaj. But you said (in mail a & q)bthat its Haram. Now I’m confused. I want to know what’s the truth? Is anal sex Haram or not? Please response my question.

Answer
Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:
There are many saheeh ahaadeeth which show that anal intercourse is haraam, such as the following:

1 – It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The one who has intercourse with his wife in her back passage has disavowed himself of that which was revealed to Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).” Narrated by Abu Dawood (3904); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

2 – It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah will not look at a man who has intercourse with a woman in her back passage.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1165); classed as saheeh by Ibn Daqeeq al-‘Eid in al-Ilmaam (2/660) and by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

3 – It was narrated that Khuzaymah ibn Thaabit (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah is not too shy to tell the truth” three times. “Do not have intercourse with women in their back passages.” Narrated by Ibn Maajah (1924); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah.

And there are many similar ahaadeeth. Al-Tahhaawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Sharh Ma’aani al-Athaar (3/43): The reports concerning that reach the level of tawaatur. End quote.

Hence the views of the scholars are based on these ahaadeeth.

Al-Maawardi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Haawi (9/319):

Because that is the consensus of the Sahaabah. It was narrated from ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib, ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abbaas, Ibn Mas’ood and Abu’l-Darda’. End quote.

It says in al-Mughni (7/32):

It is not permissible to have intercourse with one’s wife in her back passage according to the majority of scholars, including ‘Ali, ‘Abd-Allaah, Abu’l-Darda’, Ibn ‘Abbaas, ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr and Abu Hurayrah. This was also the view of Sa’eed ibn al-Musayyab, Abu Bakr ibn ‘Abd al-Rahmaan, Mujaahid, ‘Ikrimah, al-Shaafa’i, ashaab al-ra’y and Ibn al-Mundhir.

Secondly:
Some people imagine that it is permissible to have intercourse with one’s wife in her back passage. They understand from the verse (interpretation of the meaning): “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223] that Allaah has permitted everything in this verse, even intercourse in the back passage. This misinterpretation is reinforced for them when they read the hadeeth narrated by al-Bukhaari in his Saheeh – and perhaps this is the hadeeth referred to by the questioner – in which it says: It was narrated that Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Jews used to say that if (the man) had intercourse from behind, the child would be born with a squint. Then the verse “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223] was revealed.

But this is a misunderstanding of the verse. Allaah says “so go to your tilth when or how you will” which means that all variations of intercourse are permitted, so long as it is in the place of tilth, i.e., the vagina, not the back passage. So it is permissible for a man to have intercourse with his wife from behind or from in front or lying on their sides so long as it is in the place of tilth and not the back passage.

The evidence for that is Muslim’s report (1435) of the hadeeth of Jaabir quoted above about the reason for the revelation of this verse, in which it says: If he wishes, when she is lying on her front and if he wishes when she is not lying on her front, so long as that is in only one opening.

In Abu Dawood’s report of the same hadeeth (2163) it says: It was narrated that Muhammad ibn al-Munkadir said: I heard Jaabir say: The Jews say that if a man has intercourse with his wife in her vagina from behind, the child will have a squint. Then Allaah revealed the words (interpretation of the meaning): “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223].

In Sunan al-Tirmidhi (2980) in a report which he classed as hasan, it was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: ‘Umar came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allaah, I am doomed! He said: “Why are you doomed?” He said: I changed my direction last night. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not say anything. Then this verse was revealed to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) (interpretation of the meaning): “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223]. So approach from the front or the back, but avoid the back passage and the time of menses. Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

These ahaadeeth and reports explain what is meant by the verse. So it is not permissible for the Muslim to go beyond that and understand it in ways that are not indicated by the reports or by linguistic usage.

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Zaad al-Ma’aad (4/261):

The verse indicates that it is haraam to have intercourse with her in her back passage for two reasons. The first is that it is permitted to have intercourse with her in the tilth, which is the place of birth, and not in the anus which is the place of filth. The place of tilth is what is referred to in the verse “then go in unto them as Allaah has ordained for you”. [al-Baqarah 2:222].

The second reason is that Allaah says “when or how you will” i.e., however you wish, from the front or from the back. Ibn ‘Abbaas said: “go to your tilth” means the vagina. End quote.

Thirdly:
Perhaps the question is also referring to what al-Bukhaari narrated from Naafi’ from Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him): “so go to your tilth when or how you will”; he said: “He may approach her from …”

Ibn Hajar said in Fath al-Baari (8/189):

This is how it appears in all the texts. It does not mention what comes after the word “from”. End quote.

And he quoted what is mentioned in some reports elsewhere than in Saheeh al-Bukhaari, that Ibn ‘Umar said: He may approach her in her back passage.

But the scholars answered that in two ways:

1 – That it was a mistake on the part of some of those who narrated it from Ibn ‘Umar, and they understood from it that it was permissible to have intercourse in the back passage, when in fact he was narrating that it is permissible to have intercourse with one’s wife in her vagina from behind, based on what is mentioned in saheeh reports from him that he regarded it as haraam to have intercourse with one’s wife in her back passage. And al-Nasaa’i narrated in al-Sunan al-Kubra (5/315) with a saheeh isnaad that Ibn ‘Umar was asked about that and he said: Would a Muslim do that?!

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Tahdheeb al-Sunan (2/146):

It is narrated in a saheeh report that he interpreted the verse as referring to intercourse in the vagina coming from the back, which is what was narrated from Naafi’. Those who thought that Naafi’ improved of intercourse in the back passage are gravely mistaken; rather what he meant was having intercourse from the back in the vagina. Thus they were confused when they thought that when he said “from the back” he meant the back passage; but what he meant by that was coming from the back but putting it in the place of intercourse, namely the vagina. Those people were confused when they understood the words of Naafi’ “from the back” as meaning “in the back (passage)”. End quote.

The second answer is:

That this was ijtihaad on the part of Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) about the meaning of the verse. The Sunnah and the views of all the Sahaabah indicate that it was an incorrect ijtihaad. Abu Dawood (2164) narrated, in a report that was classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, that Ibn ‘Abbaas said:

Ibn ‘Umar – may Allaah forgive him – imagined, and this was a tribe of the Ansaar who had been idol-worshippers, along with this tribe of the Jews, who were people of the Book, and thought that they (the Jews) were superior to them in knowledge; they used to follow their examples in many of their deeds.. The people of the Book did not have intercourse with their wives except on their sides, and that was most concealing for the woman. This tribe of the Ansaar had adopted that from them. And this tribe of Quraysh used to make the woman lie in whatever position they wanted and enjoy them in various ways. When the Muhaajiroon came to Madeenah, one of their men married a woman of the Ansaar, and he went to do that with her but she objected and said: We have intercourse lying on our sides, so do that or keep away from me. Their problem got worse until news of that reached the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and Allaah revealed the words (interpretation of the meaning): “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223]., i.e., from the front or the back or lying, meaning the place of birth.

This could support the reports that Ibn ‘Umar used to say that it was permissible to have intercourse in the back passage, but then perhaps he came back to the correct view, after Ibn ‘Abbaas or someone else explained to him the reason why this verse was revealed and what its correct meaning was. Hence it is proven – as stated above – that he said that it was haraam, and he said: Would a Muslim do that?!

To conclude: Islam forbids this action, and there is nothing to indicate that it is permissible. The one who thinks that there is anything in the Qur’aan and Sunnah to indicate that is mistaken.

And Allaah knows best.
Is it necessary to wash the bedclothes when they get contaminated with sexual fluids?

Question: Alhamdulillah I got married recently. I be with my wife in bed (I mean intimately). The bed spreads might contain some sexual fluids. My question is should we change it everytime that happens. We do change it now. But the problem is we are in a joint family (living with parents & brother) and its kind of awkward to keep changing it often and washing the dirty ones. Should we change the dirty ones? What happens when one sits on that? Should he or she has to do ghusl or wudu to become clean again.

Answer
Praise be to Allaah.
If the fluid which is emitted is as a result of foreplay and what gets on the bedclothes is maniy (sperm) that is not mixed with any other secretions, then you do not have to wash the bedclothes because maniy is taahir (pure) according to the correct scholarly opinion.

But if what gets onto the bedclothes is madhiy (prostatic fluid) or some other secretion that comes from the private parts of the man or the woman, then you have to wash only the spot where this fluid got onto the bed, because these secretions are regarded as najis (impure).

With regard to doing ghusl, this is required in two cases:

1 – When intercourse takes place, which is when the entire glans (tip of the penis) enters the woman’s vagina, even if he does not ejaculate. In this case ghusl is required of both the man and the woman, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When (the man) sits between the thighs and calves of a woman and the two circumcised parts touch, then ghusl is obligatory.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 291; Muslim, 349). According to a report narrated by Muslim, “… even if he does not ejaculate.”

2 – When sperm is emitted without intercourse. If a man or woman reaches climax, then ghusl is obligatory. If the man reaches climax but the woman does not or vice versa, then ghusl is obligatory because of what has been emitted from them, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“If you are in a state of Janaaba (i.e. after a sexual discharge), purify yourselves (bathe your whole body)”[al-Maa’idah 5:6]

Ghusl becomes obligatory when something is emitted or climax is reached, even if intercourse does not take place, and it becomes obligatory when intercourse takes place even if there is no ejaculation or climax, and it becomes obligatory when both take place together.

And Allaah is the Source of strength.
Is it permissible for husband and wife to remove their clothes when sleeping? What effect does that have on tahaarah (purity, cleanliness)?

Question: I would like to know whether sleeping naked with your spouse is permitted in Islam? If yes, then if you embrace each other while sleeping will you have to do ghusal before prayers or just wudoo would do?

Answer
Praise be to Allaah.

(1)

With regard to the first part of the question, that is permissible for the couple.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts)

Except from their wives or (the slaves) that their right hands possess, for then, they are free from blame” [al-Mu’minoon 23:5-6]

Imaam Ibn Hazm (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Allaah commands us to guard our chastity except from our wives or (the slaves) that our right hands possess; there is no blame in that case. This is general and includes seeing, touching and interacting.” (al-Muhalla, 9/165)

With regard to (evidence from) the Sunnah, it is narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and I used to do ghusl from one vessel placed between me and him. He would hasten until I would say, ‘Leave some for me, leave some for me.’”(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 258; Muslim, 321 – this version narrated by Muslim).

Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar said: al-Dawoodi took this as evidence to indicate that it is permissible for a man to look at the ‘awrah of his wife and vice versa. This is supported by the report narrated by Ibn Hibbaan from Sulaymaan ibn Moosa, who was asked about a man looking at his wife’s private parts. He said, I asked ‘Ataa’ and he said: I asked ‘Aa’ishah and she mentioned this hadeeth. Al-Haafiz said: this is the definitive report on this matter.

There is another hadeeth from the Sunnah, in which the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Guard your ‘awrah, except from your wives or those (slaves) whom your right hands possess.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood, 4017; al-Tirmidhi, 2769 – he classed it as hasan; Ibn Maajah, 1920. Narrated mu’allaqan by al-Bukhaari, 1/508). Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar said, commenting on this hadeeth: what may be understood from the phrase ‘except from your wives’ is that it permissible for a wife to look at his (‘awrah) and by analogy that he is also permitted to look (at her ‘awrah).

Ibn Hazm (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: It is halaal for a man to look at his womenfolk’s private parts – his wife and his female slave with whom he is permitted to have intercourse – and it is permissible for them to look at his private parts. There is no reservation at all concerning that. The proof of that is the well known reports narrated from ‘Aa’ishah, Umm Salamah and Maymoonah, the Mothers of the Believers (may Allaah be pleased with them), who narrated that they used to do ghusl with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to cleanse themselves from janaabah (impurity following sexual activity) from one vessel. The report of Maymoonah clearly indicates that he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was uncovered, because in her report it states that “he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) dipped his hand into the vessel then poured water over his private parts and washed them with his left hand.” After this there is no need to follow the (mere) opinion of anyone. It is strange that some of those ignorant people who want to make things difficult allow intercourse but forbid looking at the private parts! (al-Muhalla, 9/165)

Shaykh al-Albaani (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Forbidding looking is a means of forbidding that which may lead to haraam intercourse. If Allaah has permitted a husband to have intercourse with his wife, how can it make sense that He would forbid him to look at her private parts?! No way.

(al-Silsilah al-Da’eefah, 1/353

(2)

With regard to the ruling on tahaarah (purity) in this case, embracing one another whilst sleeping, so long as it does not lead to emission of maniy (semen) or intercourse, does not necessitate ghusl.

But if madhiy (prostatic fluid) is emitted, then the man has to wash his penis and testicles, and do wudoo’ for prayer, and the woman has to wash her private part and do wudoo’ likewise.

And Allaah knows best.
Intercourse during Ramadaan

Question: Is it permissible to have sex during Ramadan. Can we have sex in the night and take bath before doing the sahar?

Answer
Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:
Intercourse during the day in Ramadaan is haraam for men and women alike, who are obliged to fast during the day. Doing that is a sin for which expiation (kafaarah) must be offered. The kafaarah is to free a slave; if that is not possible then the person must fast for two consecutive months; whoever is not able to do that must feed sixty poor persons.

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: Whilst we were sitting with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), a man came to him and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I am doomed!” He said, “What happened?” He said, “I had intercourse with my wife when I was fasting [in Ramadaan].” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Are you able to free a slave?” He said, “No.” He said, “Are you able to fast for two consecutive months?” He said, “No.” He said, “Can you feed sixty poor persons?” He said, “No.” Then the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) remained silent for a while, and whilst we were like that, a large vessel of dates was brought to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and he said, “Where is the one who was asking?” He said, “Here I am.” He said, “Take these and give them in charity.” The man said, “Is there anyone more poor than me, O Messenger of Allaah? For there is no household between the two harrahs (lava fields – i.e., in Madeenah) that is poorer than my household.” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) smiled until his eyeteeth could be seen, then he said, “Feed it to your family.”

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1834, 1835; Muslim, 1111)

Secondly:
With regard to intercourse during the night in Ramadaan, this is permitted and is not forbidden, and the time when it is permitted lasts until the onset of dawn. When dawn comes, intercourse becomes forbidden.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“It is made lawful for you to have sexual relations with your wives on the night of As-Sawm (the fasts). They are Libaas [i.e. body-cover, or screen, or Sakan (i.e. you enjoy the pleasure of living with them] for you and you are the same for them. Allaah knows that you used to deceive yourselves, so He turned to you (accepted your repentance) and forgave you. So now have sexual relations with them and seek that which Allaah has ordained for you (offspring), and eat and drink until the white thread (light) of dawn appears to you distinct from the black thread (darkness of night), then complete your Sawm (fast) till the nightfall”

[al-Baqarah 2:187]

This verse clearly states that it is permissible to eat, drink and have intercourse during the nights of Ramadaan until dawn.

After having intercourse it is obligatory to do ghusl, then pray Fajr.

And Allaah knows best.
Is wudoo’ invalidated if a man sees the ‘awrah of his wife?

Question: Does vadu get invalid if one person sees the aurah of His wife?.

Answer
Praise be to Allaah.

Wudoo’ is not invalidated by that, the things that invalidate wudoo’. A man’s seeing his own ‘awrah or that of someone else is not one of them.

The Standing Committee was asked (5/270): is wudoo’ invalidated simply by looking at naked men and women, and is wudoo’ invalidated if a man looks at his own ‘awrah? They replied: Wudoo’ is not invalidated simply by looking at naked men and women, or by looking at one’s own ‘awrah, because there is no evidence to that effect.

They were also asked (5/283): can a Muslim touch the Mus-haf or pray if he has looked at his own ‘awrah when he was doing wudoo’? They replied: Yes, looking at the ‘awrah is not one of the things that invalidate wudoo’.
It is not obligatory to have intercourse on the first night of marriage

Question
Asalaam-O-Alaikum

I am getting married in few months..My question is do husband and wife have to have sex the first night?
I have heard that if you dont have the intercorse fist night of your marriage, you’re commiting a sin and u can’t celebrate walima, is that true?

May allah bless you for leading us muslims to the right path

Answer
Praise be to Allaah.

What you have heard – that it is obligatory to have intercourse on the first night of marriage – is not correct at all. Not having intercourse on that night is not a sin, and does not prevent one from celebrating the waleemah (wedding feast). Whatever happens between the two partners on their wedding night is their concern alone, and they know best what will suit their own personalities. This is a good opportunity to remind Muslim men and women of the importance of verifying whatever they hear, and to warn them not to accept Islamic rulings from people who are not qualified to give them. We ask Allaah to help us learn that which will benefit us, and to benefit us from that which we learn.
Intimacy with a woman who is menstruating

Question: I read somewhere that during the period of Menstrual cycle, the part below the waist of a Woman is Haram to do intercourse with, while the part above the waist is Halal and there is nothing wrong taking part in sex with husband with upper part only? Is this correct in the light of true a Hadeeth?.

Answer
Praise be to Allaah.

What you have read is not correct. The correct view is that the man may be intimate with his wife when she is menstruating in all ways apart from intercourse.

Many of the scholars were of the view that it is haraam for a man to be intimate with his wife during her menses with regard to the area between the navel and the knees, and they quoted evidence for that, but this view has some flaws, for example:

1 – The report narrated by Abu Dawood (213) from Mu’aadh ibn Jabal who said: “I asked the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) what it is permissible for a man to do with his wife when she is menstruating. He said, ‘Whatever is above the izaar (waist wrapper), but refraining from that is better.’”

This hadeeth is da’eef, and was not proven from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).

Abu Dawood said: It is not strong. It was classed as da’eef by al-‘Iraaqi as it says in ‘Awn al-Ma’bood. And it was classed as da’eef by al-Albaani in Da’eef Abi Dawood, 36.

2 – Ahmad (87) narrated from ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab that he asked the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “What can a man do with his wife when she is menstruating?” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whatever is above the izaar.”

Ahmad Shaakir said in Tahqeeq al-Musnad (86): its isnaad is da’eef (weak) because there is a missing link in it.

3 – Abu Dawood (212) also narrated from Haraam ibn Hakeem that his paternal uncle asked the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “What is it permissible for me to do with my wife when she is menstruating?” He said, “Whatever is above the izaar.”

The scholars differed concerning this hadeeth. Ibn al-Qayyim narrated in Tahdheeb al-Sunan that some of the huffaaz regarded it as da’eef, and he concurred with that. It was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 197.

Even if the hadeeth is saheeh, it does not constitute evidence that this is not permissible to engage in intimacy between the navel and the knees, because it is possible to reconcile between this hadeeth and other ahaadeeth which state that such intimacy is possible in one of the following ways:

1 –It means that this is mustahabb to avoid the site of menstruation, not that it is obligatory to do so.

2 – It may be interpreted as applying to the one who is not able to control himself, because if he is allowed to be intimate with the area between the thighs, for example, he may not be able to control himself and may have intercourse in the vagina, so he would be doing something haraam, either because he is lacking in religious commitment, or because his desire is too strong. So the ahaadeeth which indicate that it is permissible apply to the one who can control himself and the ahaadeeth which indicate that it is not allowed apply to the one who fears that he may fall into haraam.

From al-Sharh al-Mumti’ by Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 1/416-417

And Allaah knows best.
Sexual talk between spouses by phone

Question: Is it allowed for a married couple to speak through the telephone about sex and to excite eachother so much that one of them or both get an orgasm(without their hands, because that is not allowed) This happens because the man is living abroad for work and they see eachother only once every four month and they miss eachother very much.

Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.

We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, who answered as follows:

“There is nothing wrong with that. Yes, it is permissible.”

Question: Even if there is use of the hand?

Answer:

“There are some reservations about use of the hand (i.e., masturbation). It is not permissible unless one fears that one may commit zina otherwise.”

Question:

So as long as there is no use of the hand, it is OK?

Answer:

“Yes, as long as there is no use of the hand, it is OK. He can imagine that he is with her and there is nothing wrong with that.”

They should also make sure that no one is listening to what they say or is spying on them.

And Allaah knows best.